Fremont, California, 1994
Tony could not have returned home to the prairie after 1943, and to his parents after 1963. That bridge was burned. But God has a wonderful way of doing and seeing things.
My mom said my Uncle Tony had poor eye-sight as a young man and possibly could not have gotten in the military during the war. We speculated his eyesight problem could have been progressive, and he could have eventually become blind, making him a prisoner to a specific location where he depended on specific care. This particular thought really troubled me, so I didn't want to think about it. The 1980's came, and then the nineties, and very few of us gave many thoughts to Uncle Tony, who was occasionally mentioned at family get-togethers. We'd talk about the clues and then sigh, and move on.
I believe when God does something, He usually does it through people. He does this by choice, because His plan is to direct man's destiny, using man as His instrument. That is why Jesus became an eternal man. The Bible says "there is one mediator between God and man, the man, Christ Jesus." He will have nail and spear scars, on His now heavenly body, probably throughout all eternity, to remind all of His humanity. This is all very interesting, because, you see, God has proved for all time, that if a Son of God can be human, a man, then a human, a man or a woman, can be a son or a daughter of God. What a genius idea of reciprocal effect.
My uncle Ray Erickson's mother-in-law, Mrs. Jeannette Gibson, a very loving Godly woman, began to stir the pot of the Anton Christian Erickson saga. It seems she placed an ad in a genealogy magazine probably 4 times over a few years. The ad called for anyone knowing the whereabouts of Uncle Tony to write to my Uncle Ray. In January of 1994, my Uncle Ray received the strangest yet most exciting letter of his life. An anonymous person had written telling him that Tony was alive and in a rest home in Lynwood, Washington. The phone number was provided. The one literal "lost sheep" or "prodigal" of the Erickson family was located. What was the chance of this ad working? Who reads these magazines so thoroughly that they even notice the loneliest ads about specific individuals? Providential Intervention was very apparent here. Uncle Ray called him immediately. When Tony came on the line, I can imagine the awkwardness of it. First, Uncle Ray wanted to verify he did not have a hoax on his hands. With a little questioning, Tony quoted the names of his brothers and sisters. He was now about 80 years old. Uncle Ray asked him where they were from. Tony quickly replied "Orton Flat, South Dakota." This was a binding tie. The name Orton Flat had not been used in years. Decades ago, they changed the name of it to Mission Ridge. Only someone gone for many years would know that former name. You can imagine the joy in my Uncle Ray. He was the youngest brother of 6 boys in the family, and the only brother still alive besides Tony.
Uncle Ray called my mom and said, "I think you had better sit down. I've got some news for you. " That does not sound good. He could have said some terrible news with that lead in. This is what he said. "We have found out where Anton is." (My Uncle Ray liked to call him Anton. My mom liked to call him Tony.) He went on. "He is in Lynwood, Washington, near Seattle. I am thinking of going up there in a few days."
Lynwood, Washington
Mom made that trip with Uncle Ray from California to Washington on a Friday. They arrived in the afternoon. They found Tony sitting in the recreation room smoking. He was cool, and not very friendly. He acted like a stranger. I can imagine he felt a little guilty and ashamed. The typical reaction would be one of self protection. It had been 54 years. What do you say? The truth came out later. Before they arrived, a staff person said he had gone to the door several times to look for them. He no doubt was excited and eager. He just would not show it to them up front. It was a tough emotional time. They had lunch together that day at the retirement home. Tony acted like he didn't totally trust them. He had passed their test. But he probably had his own test. Was their acceptance and love of him sincere?
They came back the next day on Saturday to visit. They spent most of the day filling him in on the family. Many had died. It must have been hard for Tony to hear. His parents were now dead over 30 years. This was the first news of it. Mom asked Tony if he went to church. He said he did, and indicated it was right there at the retirement home, every Sunday. Uncle Ray and my mom joined Uncle Tony for church the next morning. It was a Baptist service possibly. These three had quite a bit to be thankful for. At lunch that day, Uncle Ray asked Uncle Tony a life changing question. It was possible, my mom and Uncle Ray were still in Uncle Tony's test. But the test would be over in a minute. "Anton," Ray said, "how would you like to come and live with me?" My mom watched Uncle Tony's face. It really lit up and this man took on a whole new countenance. He was realizing he belonged somewhere. What a enlightening fact to a man of 80 who had burned all his bridges in life. You can't appreciate this unless you understand the Ericksons. We hold family dear. The Ericksons are close. There is an invisible fabric to them. With all the mistakes, and family arguments, and differences, Ericksons practice love, forgiveness, and acceptance for one another. This gift extends out to friends and strangers. It is a unique family, but not so unique to the Kingdom of God. And that is all that happened. God got into this family and moved in it for decades. Uncle Ray was extending a welcome to his older brother. He was opening his home. He was extending the hand of God to Uncle Tony. The message here is eternal. God goes for the lost sheep. God makes that one feel welcome, and all the lost time and mistakes made are swallowed up in love. What had happened to Uncle Tony? Why did he write off the family? Uncle Tony wasn't saying much. My mom and Uncle Ray did not make him explain. In fact, that was not important. Let's just restore it and forget the great gulf of years. Let's forget the broken hearts and begin to mend hearts. Uncle Tony accepted Uncle Ray's offer and the process of checking him out began. Arrangements were made to have Uncle Tony's Social Security check sent to his new address: Fremont, California. They flew home on Monday. Uncle Tony told my mom he had never been on an airplane. What? He had left the family. But had he left the human race? As they looked at clouds beneath them out the plane window, my mom told him they were clouds, and he insisted they were snow on the ground. Don't forget he was 80 years old. He was becoming something of a late bloomer!!!!
Your Own Issues
As you can see, the father issue realm can be complex, but God sorts it out nicely. Maybe you don't suffer from many of the problems on the list, but maybe a few of them. I was one who needed healing in the father area. When I got it, many problems fell away from my life. If you think I have departed from the Anton story, you are wrong. The Anton story is all of our stories in one degree or another. I said it was a story of healing. I would say that 75% of all people walking around today in this country or this world have an unresolved father issue. "Strike the shepherd, and the sheep will scatter." Cripple the fathers on Earth, and you have access to their sheep.
This all paints a pretty bleak picture, but has God left our nation or our world in the hands of failing fathers? I say not, and this book in your hands may be the road back for you to healing and restoration with your father, even if he is already passed on. Your healing or restoration may be as a father with your child, even if they are grown and gone. First let me say that no father intends to fail, but the trouble arises out of human weakness, and sin. It was not meant to be so. So God needed a remedy, and the remedy, a man, is here. In Malachi 4, a mysterious passage is prophesied, by God, about the coming of John the Baptist, and more specifically, Jesus, who John was an arrow pointing to. John's life was about the introduction of Christ. Jesus is the center of the prophecy. The Redemption of Christ bought by Him is an Earthly one as well as a Heavenly one. Thank God that the simple act of receiving Jesus will insure our eternal destinies. But God is interested in our earthly destinies, and partial redemptions while we are in the flesh life of this earth.. He must and does make a way for fathers to have a redemption from their weaknesses, no matter how late. Children must have it, all the children of the world, and so must you.
The Lord preserveth the strangers, He relieveth the fatherless and widow, but the way of the wicked He turneth upside down. Psalms 146:9
...thou art the helper of the fatherless. Psalms 10:14b
I am talking about Divine Intervention in the failure of fathers. God has been stepping in for centuries to give fatherly substance to people, sometimes directly, but usually through other people. Divine Intervention can break the cycle of father issues in your life, and the lives of your off-spring.
The Prophecy
"Behold I will send you Elijah the prophet before the great and dreadful day of the Lord, and he will turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers, Lest I come and strike the earth with a curse." Malachi 4:5-6
Think about a highly cursed Earth where no one nurtures anyone and provides fatherly substance. It is because Jesus came that there is the warm fatherly love on this Earth at all, in the degree we have it. With this remarkable statement of scripture, the Old Testament ended. God could have discussed any subject He wanted, but He mentioned a new hope for fathers, fathering, and children. The manifestation of Jesus on the earth would not only bring peace on earth towards men from God, but it would bring restoration of children and their fathers. It would be conditioned on someone being in obedience to the call of God and the free gift of God's grace to restore. It also would not always be exactly blood fathers and blood children, but sometimes spiritual fathers, spiritual children, father images, mentors, teachers, coaches, and mostly Father God Himself. But Father God likes to have a human vessel to work through. If you thought you missed out on your own father, think back now on all the men who touched your life over the years, and how much it meant to you, and how probable it is that they were sent by God to advise, accept, help, love and nurture you. Your contact with them may have been short. They may have been a Grandfather, or an uncle, a teacher, a step father, or a pastor. I believe that women can also fulfill this role to a degree, so spiritual mothers can give fatherly nurturing. Why not, the Word says there is no male nor female in Christ. It is on the receiving end that the difference is made. God knows that people tend to think carnally, and they in their minds must therefore get their fathering from a man. But if you think about it, God the Father is inside of women too. They can father people with Godly traits. Female Sunday school teachers get to father small children. Jesus said, "who is my mother, brothers or sisters, except those who do the will of my Father in Heaven?" To say a similar statement, "who is my father, except him who does the will of my Father in Heaven?" This special “spirit life over blood” revelation that Jesus shared is key to seeing this role that father images can play. Anyone can father anyone else. Just encourage, nurture, love, correct with mercy, help, believe in, and see how far it goes. Jesus said, "no man has left house or home, field, cattle, that they don't receive a hundredfold ....." Jesus thought you could have a hundred fathers. In the body of Christ, you could. I hope you are getting the picture. Some of you were dealt a bad hand, in the father area, and you may have been victimized by it. But because of Jesus reconciling us to Father God, and the father heart, you can be healed. Those healed of a father issue make the best fathering nurturers. The depth of pain turns to a depth of compassion. God makes a beautiful vase of shattered broken glass. If it had not been shattered, there would have been no reason to rework it in God's skilled hands. Let your pain and tragic background become a glorious nurturing future where you do God's will for many of His children.
Your best fathering for your own needs is yet to come. God will provide. Often, God does a work in your earthly father. It usually starts with a change in you. You release him from all expectations, you forgive him, you understand him, and you begin to help him get healed. There was a time when I fathered my own earthly father with the Heavenly father's nurturing and love. What a mind bending paradox. But you can't put God in a box. If no one else will nurture your earthly father, God will use you. But not all earthly fathers will reconcile. This does not mean that God does not intend to reconcile you to the father's heart. Stay open to what God would do for you or your father, if he is still alive. Sometimes the earthly father is no longer on the earth. There are still ways to reconcile, and be healed.
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Chapter 6 The Fanfare
Fremont, California
They arrived home on late Monday afternoon, where Uncle Tony met Uncle Ray's wife Maureen and many other relatives. Quite unexpected was that the news stations all showed up, as well as the newspapers. This was a big news story. MAN GONE FROM LOVED ONES FOR 54 YEARS! MAN FINDS LOST BROTHER! Wow! There were interviews, there were news stories, and Uncle Tony was a celebrity for awhile. So were Uncle Ray and my mom. The legend was back.
Uncle Tony had to adapt to living with loved ones. It appeared he had been an isolated person most of those years. Uncle Ray when he opened his home was opening himself for a huge trial and testing of his patience. It was the same for my Aunt Maureen. Uncle Tony had a smoking habit, and various other habits. He was somewhat anti-social and he was set in his ways. It seemed he also resisted his younger brother's authority in his home and felt a little hemmed in.
As uncle Tony came home, it was obvious he was not interested in talking much about his life, but little bits came forth over time. He made it clear he had no special fondness for his father, and he would call him August, my grandfather's middle name, as a defiant and impersonal gesture. My Uncle Ray would correct him, and say, that is "Dad." Uncle Ray obviously had great respect and love for his Dad, and he would reason with Tony about the difficulties of life on the prairie, and raising so many children, and how their Dad might need some slack and understanding. Many who haven't seen a parent for many years are deprived of observing a parent mature, or of them growing as a person, or of even apologies. My grandfather was the boogie man where Tony was concerned, and he hadn't considered any other point of view but his own, even though he formulated that point of view as a teenager and in his early 20's. This is also common, that many children formulate an impression of a missing parent, possibly even using viewpoints of the present parent, who might not be the best person to ask about the character of the missing parent. Many misconceptions are then taken, and considered, and new misconceptions are built on the last ones, until the truth is very far away. My Uncle was a victim of this process. It is just human nature.
My Uncle Ray seemed to get through, because after some years, Tony began to call his father "Dad." I can imagine that the first time he ever said the word "Dad," years and years, and layers and layers of pain, and wrong perceptions, and unforgiving feelings came peeling away from my Uncle Tony, and he broke through a barrier that he may have never got through had he not been found by family. I dare say he had a break through with God at the same time, who is a Father, and who requires us to honor fathers. The very interesting point here is that my Uncle Ray is the image of his father, in mannerisms, and looks, and nature. Tony was required, by God, in another generation, to relate to the image of the man that sent him into isolation, and to find that the man had enough quality to leave a good man like Ray on the Earth, at his passing. This seems to me to be very much a way of God whose ways are beyond man, at times. Uncle Tony was healed in a sense, and his little brother stood in his own Dad's shoes, and in God's shoes, to help achieve this. At the same time, Uncle Tony was befriended by a minister, and several others, who showed him love. The gospel was shared with him, and it re-echoed as the teachings of his childhood, from his dear mother, who he never quit loving.
My Testimony
I felt neglected by my father in my childhood. He did not know better. He did love me in his own way. But because of how he was brought up, he was focused on work, life's duties, his problems, and not his children. I would never have printed this while he was alive on Earth. I never told him he disappointed me. I will gain permission from my mom and brothers and sisters to leave this part in this writing. If you are reading it, they agreed to it. I believe in telling the truth. Whatever truth is covered up in life dooms future generations to the same mistakes. God's power flows most powerfully in the exact truth. I was raised mostly by my mom. She nurtured me very much, as did my older sisters. I was also nurtured by brother-in-laws, and uncles. Those were the men besides my dad who had a part in my childhood. I was saved at age 27, when I accepted Jesus. But for some years after, I had emotional baggage. I resented pastors, bosses, male friends, and others. I also disliked my dad. My treatment of him was less than honorable. I blessed my mother and cursed my father. I had trouble in jobs, I was rebellious, unsubmissive, and prideful. I also had an identity crisis, and I reveled in my gifts and skills. Since I did not like myself, I searched for anything good I had or did and hid behind it. As a boy, I taught myself to juggle, to ride a unicycle, to do numerous coin tricks, to walk on my hands, and so on. It became normal for everyone to say "what is Greg up to now?" I held an identity in mastering things no one else could do. I also talked incessantly. My older siblings called me "mouth." The harder I tried, the more obnoxious I'm sure I appeared. I believe I was lacking fatherly affection and approval.
Later, as a man, when I got saved, I realized I had a gift for remembering scripture, and calling on it for people's needs. I became consumed with ministry. It became my identity, and this one thing I did so well was who I thought I was. After all, if your identity is God and His Word, then you must be right as a person. NOT! God will not have us losing ourselves in His work with an identity crisis as the root cause. That is unhealthy and iniquitous. The ministry is about the law of duplication, whereby we transmit attitudes and spiritual substance to others. These unhealthy roots can transmit also. The motivation to do God's work must be love, and a desire to please Him. I was off course. And yet, I also know many in the ministry right now with a huge identity crisis, making the same mistakes. It is very subtle and a condition many can spend their whole life in.
Back to me. I thought I was such a good bible teacher, I couldn't even receive a single word from anyone else. That was pride operating in me. But what was that pride but a protective wall making sure that I, Greg would stay on my idol pedestal. Father issues that have wounded us in life, and create wrong heart attitudes, lead us down a perverse road of subtle idolatry. Our focus is on ourselves. It can look like something else on the outward appearance, but God and us, the one who is caught in the trap, we know differently. I felt like a time bomb. I had trouble financially, (I was in sales) and I was too wrapped up in myself to be a good father. After I was saved, my first huge trial was a divorce. I virtually saw no wrong on my part, that is, until God started dealing with me about it. God had layers of problems and self-deception to get out of or off of me.
One day, I heard a man of God say, "what I do is pastor, but what I am is a son of God." This simple statement began to crack layers of junk off my life. Missing from my life was a revelation of sonship. I decided I wanted to know more about sonship, and to be a son to God. I was already saved. But not every person who is saved, and a child of God, is a son. I am talking about becoming a son, in our Father’s Kingdom, with responsibility and obedience. From then on, it wasn't long before I forgave my dad, for good. The first thing God had me do with respect to my failed marriage was totally forgive my 1st wife who wanted the divorce, take the greater responsibility for the breakdown in the marriage, and handle the divorce in a kind and friendly manner. This took a great deal of strength, but God gave it to me. The next thing he had me do was to get half custody and really parent my 1st two children. He showed me I needed a second childhood, which I could spend with them. I didn't date, and I spent years just relaxing on that issue. I also stayed available for a marriage reconciliation which later I realized God was not going to do. God's grace was mightily with me. I spent much of the time that most people spend dying inside from divorce, ministering to others going through the same thing. That was a gift of God. When I was not playing with my kids, I was working with hurting people.
Sometime after the divorce, in the trial by fire, God dealt with me on how I treated my father. You see, I had forgiven him, but I had years of rude behavior towards him to change and put aside. God showed me that He (God) had made me the son of my father, by line of succession in birth, and to dislike my father was to be against God himself. If I was God's choice to be my father's son, then a resistance to my father was a rejection of God's choice. This was no matter what my father did or said. God showed me that my father's actions were not my business, but my actions were, and I was responsible for them. He relayed the 4th commandment to me over and over; "Honor your father and mother that it may be well with you, and you will live long on the earth." I had been a long time bearing the negative fruit promised in that commandment. I finally totally gave in and totally reconciled my heart to only honor my father, with all that was in me. This was blind obedience, whether I felt like it or not. In doing so, I was honoring God the Father. Our love for God should be the guiding motivation for everything in our lives. I said it to my dad, (I love you,) I spoke warm words to him, I helped him, I prayed for him, and lo and behold, as I changed first, my dad started to change. He began to get on fire for God, and he became a man who loved God. I think he knew that God was special to me and he wanted the common ground. This may not have been his first reason, or only reason, but it was a big reason. I respected it in him. It was a new feeling for me to have respect for him. It felt good. He loved to hear me pray for him, or he loved to hear me share a teaching to him, or, he loved to share a new God thought with me. I found out as I retained my father's sins, between him and me, they were retained, and as I remitted them, they were remitted. Doesn't the Word say that I, the son of man, has power on Earth to forgive and remit sins? If I retain them, then unforgiveness dwells in me.
I don't know exactly when it happened, but one day I realized I was delivered from resentment of bosses, pastors, and other men. I was developing friends. The baggage I carried was tangled up in a father issue. God totally delivered me from it, He healed my heart, and, He gave me a new wife, Debbie, and more children, and many more to father. I now had three step-daughters, and God gave me the love to raise them like my own. I had 2 more small sons, and a fresh chance to father two from birth correctly. The best change of all was that like the pastor who once said he was a son of God, I accepted myself as a son of God, with no one to please but God. With all the confidence and understanding that came from knowing I had an unerring, omnipotent, and loving Heavenly Father, I began to understand why Jesus walked around the Earth fearlessly, Kingly, working miracles, and having unlimited security in Divine love and protection. A new and fresh message in my life was the truth of sonship. Sons of God are strong and like Oak trees. I am still finding more out about sonship daily. But as long as I had father issues, my relationship with God was hindered. Issues are like walls, and the walls we have for people work on God also. We can be in a state where we are unable to let God show us an ounce of love. The whole problem finally left me, and I started to be able to receive God's abundant grace and fathering. I want to state here, that when this issue broke off my life, I had a difficult boss and a pastor who was not fatherly, and God showed me he used these two men like Saul over David, to break a wrong spirit in me, and to give me a way to test new found submission. As I obeyed from my gut, and served as unto the Lord, God changed my heart from forced submission to willing submission. But He had to heal my father issue to do it.
My dad died in January of 1997, and the day of his funeral, the church was packed. Scores of people mourned and told of how he had blessed them over many years. He had nurtured them in ways that touched them. As I sat and listened, I thought to myself, who was this man who I missed out on as a child? He was like a hero, and I now see it was a perception correctly bestowed. But here was the mystery. What gave him a block towards me? He was a good man. He did not deserve for me to despise him. Thank God I reconciled it with him when I could. I was so proud of him on the day of his funeral. How sad it is that it was not earlier. My dad did not understand the art of fathering when I needed it, but he was a father figure to many. In his final few years, he caught what he had lacked. God gave it to him.
More On Generational Curses
I want to say a little more about generational curses. This is about my family. It is hard honest truth. My dad's father, Joe Nichols, was illegitimate. His mother, Rachel Viola Nichols, became pregnant at 16. It was a romp or fling, but the man left town, and she was left alone. It is unknown by the family what his name was. Joe took his mother's maiden name. She came from a large family. Her father was a tough civil war veteran, and irritable from a wound or war disability. My sister did some research on him, and he spent his later years embittered over the wound and writing and hounding the federal government over his disability pension. But when his daughter Rachel became pregnant, I can imagine it was hell to pay. She was no doubt shamed terribly. It was the 1800's. She was the youngest daughter in a large family of children. I looked in the family bible. Her name is entered last, as a birth, after many other siblings, and then my grandfather's name is entered as a birth to the same family, just below his mother's name. It was very sad, I'm sure. He was raised by a grandfather, who might not have been real kind. His mother was a teenager. Babies in the womb know about the happenings outside. If she was undergoing shame and humiliation over her sexual escapade, my grandfather Joe went through it too, both before and after birth. Can you imagine the shame of being raised as a mistake? Again, it would have been harder then than today.
One time, about 10 years ago, in the course of God healing me, I heard a man of God preach about illegitimate children, and God led him to ask for any in the meeting to come forward, for healing. Although I was not illegitimate, I went forward. As I stood up front, waiting for the man to pray over me, I was painfully aware that many in the audience knew me, and as I stood there, I wanted prayer about my grandfather. What sin or shame or curse carried over to me from his life? I was a little embarrassed because I thought many would think me illegitimate. But God spoke to me, in that line of prayer, and showed how my grandfather felt. For a brief time, I felt the shame of the thing. It moved me deeply, and I wept. But how legitimate am I anyway only 2 generations away from it? Much that I am is of Joe Nichols, and Vernon Nichols, his son. God then showed me that I should not tell friends or people who knew me any different afterwards. Let people think what they want. What is important is what is reality before God. As the man came to me, he whispered, "what do you want?" I had just come up to be prayed for for illegitimacy, why is he asking? Did he forget his altar call? I leaned over and whispered in his ear: "my grandfather was illegitimate, and I want prayer over it for myself, and for my brothers and sisters and my children, nieces and nephews, and all who are descended from him." At that moment, I knew I pleased God. God was interested in me and many more than me, and He wanted someone on Earth to see it, in its full need and anointing. At that moment, God and I connected. The man in front of me seemed to fill up with God's presence and anointing. He reached out and put his hand on my head. He spoke some words, and I will have to paraphrase them. "I am breaking this thing off your life now, and I am making you able to break it off many sons around you." God had spoken. The Holy Spirit was telling my future. At first, I thought he spoke of my brothers and sisters. But in recent years, he showed me it is them and more. My dad was still alive. I helped to break it off him. God had said sons, in the prophecy. That word includes daughters. God also was not talking about illegitimacy only, but all father issues. He anointed me to help people who don't feel quite legitimate, about their upbringing and fathers. The curse of illegitimacy is the feeling of unworthiness. Although, many are not illegitimate, many feel unworthy. When Adam sinned, he brought the whole human race to a kind of illegitimacy. God must adopt us when He finds us in our sin. Every sinner saved by God knows just what I am talking about, and can feel or sense the shame of illegitimacy and unworthiness. This whole writing and revelation is about healing that condition. With the anointing the Holy Spirit gave me over this came the revelation. I have written much of it here in this writing. The Bible said Jesus brought many sons to glory. (Hebrews 2:10) Jesus was giving me the directive and the anointing to help save and heal sons and daughters of shame, of father issues, of illegitimacy, and of all the negative fruit that comes from these. Jesus anointed me to help sons and daughters of God find the glory. The Father in Heaven stepped into the Joe Nichols line and gave me a Divine destiny like Ruth was given. But this writing is not about me, it is about you. I use me to help you see you. Many scriptural principles came up here in my testimony. Your situation may be totally different, but each principle applies to all of us. God is good, and His word endures forever. He said in His word that He would pour out a blessing on you and your descendants. But you must believe it! God has shown me this thing is about duplication. I only have to touch a few with it, who in turn must touch a few. With the law of multiplication and duplication, many can receive healing of father issues and shame. There are many good ministries and people of God who have this anointing. It is not exclusive. Nurturing and fathering and passing on the blessing is what is needed. Conveying the Heavenly Father's heart is the way to help people.
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In his last years, my dad wrote out on paper what each of his children meant to him. He found a book on The Father's Blessing and read it. I'm sure he saw some mistakes, and wanted to remedy them. You are reading my testimony right now. You may feel you need healing like I did. I know your father would have done some things different if he had only known how to. We can't crucify someone for their human nature, weakness, ignorance or self-deception. People make big mistakes, and those mistakes hurt others. Forgiveness is the only path you can take now. Understand your father. Look at him with compassion and with God's eyes. Know that when you were suffering in the past at the hands of an earthly father, God was with you, and knows how you felt. Let your loss be a new strength. There are masses to be fathered with the Heavenly Father's love. I know where I was before being healed, and where I am now. I have a strong desire to father people, especially those who feel they missed being fathered. Good sons make good fathers. Whether you are male or female, you can be a good son to God and a good father to the fatherless. And many who feel they are fatherless may have an earthly father, somewhere. Let's help some fathers and children get restored. It will start on one side. One willing side. You are that willing side.
This is a great revelation. God said it. It is subtle enough to miss. If you from your heart honor your father and mother, it will go well with you. This is the whole crux and theme of the whole book on my uncle and on father issues. When you are healed enough to show honor for that parent from your heart, no matter what they have done, you will be healed enough for many other of life's issues to begin to line up in your life, and God says it will begin to go well with you. Our society seems like one big mess of neurotic and addictive behavior. Here is a simple principle that will go far to heal and correct many problems, in many people. As an additional blessing and fruit of honoring parents, God adds long life to the promise. " ..That thou mayest live long on the Earth." Don't you know though that the logic here is clear? If it goes well with you, that is the long life environment. Going well must come before the ability to live a long life. Going well is a healed identity and a sense of who you are, and an ability to see God in your life. You cannot really honor God if you can't honor man. It is just one of His principles. Call it a test if you want. God watches the honor we have for people like our parents, and then receives that honor as a sacrifice unto Himself. Shall I define the word honor? It is to show love, respect, submission to, faithfulness to, consideration for their point of view, and grace for their weaknesses and mistakes. We must honor all men. We must honor our spouses, and our ex-spouses, our children, our employers, and our leaders in government, in church, and everywhere. We must honor those who have hurt us or abused us. It takes less character to only honor those who have blessed you. God would not have us be so shallow, or so in a state of picking and choosing when we want to use His principles. If you can honor everyone equally, it is more of a Godly honor than just a sense of duty. It is the honor God helps us with, and then He receives it to Himself, and He multiplies it back to us in increased ability to show more honor. And, it will go well with us.
To People Who Feel They Missed Being Fathered
Your first step to restoration is to receive Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord. For whoever has seen Jesus has seen the Father. No man comes to the Father but by Jesus. Adam and Eve, as a son and daughter of God, walked with the Father in the cool of the Garden. The Father wants to walk with you. He will never let you down, and He wants to help you fulfill your destiny. But first, the Father wants to go through your life with you and show you how He loved you in your past and childhood even when things did not look right to you. He also wants to take you apart piece by piece and then put you together again as a totally whole individual, lacking nothing. It is a process of time, and God will use people in the process.
As I already said, God has given you fatherly men and women who have touched your life in many ways. Now you know that God was bringing you along in the process. There is still much to be done.
I may never meet you, or I might, but know this, I have a father's love for you. I see you being healed of all emotional hurts and walking healed and whole. And I see you fulfilling your destiny. I see it being important to you to be a son to God, and carry responsibility in His Kingdom. I see you nurturing others and helping them break the victim's cycle that you have broke. I pray that as you read my message in this book, that God is plowing, stirring, and delivering you right now. Scripture says that we have many teachers, but few fathers. God is making more fathers.
If You Are A Father And You Feel You've Blown It
You may be a father who has blown it. You may have a young person who you let down. First, get forgiveness from God. He will do it. Then, pray for your young person. If you have no relationship with them, prayer by you from afar is a Godly step. If they hate you, don't take it as a personal rejection. Rather, write them and confess to them. If you truly want to build a bridge, God will help you find a way. You might want to send them this book. It would be a good way to show you want to change. It would take courage on your part. A cover letter with an admission of mistakes mentioned here could be the start. Pray about that and only do it if God shows you to.
What Have We Learned?
1) Fathers can really blow it.
2) We as their children can forgive them.
3) We need to resolve feelings and attitudes brought on by our fathers. Other issues and baggage are often caused by this root.
4) Our well being and destinies depend on resolving father issues.
5) God has worked all along, usually through men, and sometimes women, to make up our Father's mistakes and heal us.
6) Reading and understanding this material is a doorway to the introspection needed for us to let God deliver us from sins, addictions, and destructive behavior.
7) We need to lower walls of self-protection to get help.
8) We can begin to father and nurture others almost immediately, even before we are fully healed.
9) For that one who sees sonship with God as a great prize, God finds a way to flood that person with earthly mentors, spiritual fathers, and many to guide and bless. God has a great blessing in store for his sons to bring to pass the prophecy in Malachi.
10) A great sensitivity to others is the gift available for one wounded by a father, and a powerful ministry can result.
11) Loss of weight, more submission to others, a better marriage, and a higher income can result for those who resolve father issues. Self confidence, and more reliance on God is also a result.
12) A proper identity, a more wholesome sexual life, being less driven, and being generally more accepting of others is a result of inner healing from father issues.
13) A young woman can stop relying on her sex appeal and start to relate to men properly, respect herself, and be drawn to more wholesome Godly men when she is healed of a father issue. Interpersonal relationships come into greater perspective.
14) A young man can stop using pretense, being macho, and running with and being swayed by the crowd when he is healed from father issues. A young married man can relate better to his wife's needs when he is healed of father issues.
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