The Blessing
Fathers are to impart the Blessing to their young. This is an intangible substance from God that imparts identity and self-worth in the young person's life. There are examples of this all through scripture. The father in scripture would often pick the child's name, and the name would be descriptive of the calling or the destiny. The parents then spent many years discussing the future of the child, and actually built their destiny and life's work or calling in them with positive reinforcement. Go back and search it out. God even did it. The word Adam means blood. God's first son would have the blood for the rest of the human race, and the life is in the blood. Eve meant mother of all living. The name Elijah means "Jehovah is God." This name no doubt was preparatory for his Divine work of telling and declaring to his generation that Baal was not God, but rather Jehovah. Elijah's whole destiny and name was fulfilled the day he had the showdown and fire came out of Heaven and consumed the sacrifice in the scriptural account, showing once and for all that Elijah's name was true. The name Jesus means "He shall save his people from their sins." God picked it, the angel mandated it to Mary, and it was final. These names have eternal significance. The father has the responsibility to release the mindsets and spiritual substance known as the blessing. Jacob laid hands on Joseph's children and declared destinies over them. That mighty patriarch had great substance of God. But a certain substance is in all fathers to impart because God sees to it. This includes fathers that are not even saved. This substance is imparted through touch, warmth, words, instruction, and many other ways. If the father is out of the home, then God imparts something from the mother, but this is not enough. Then God often uses the maternal Grandfather, or uncles, or pastors and teachers, and bosses, and male figures in one's life. Satan has many schemes to ruin this impartation, especially through using males to impart demonic or evil substance due to physical abuse or molestation while the child is still young. If that was you, God can get you what you need. Don't lose heart.
Moses
Moses was a man who had two moms, and no father. God chose him to free his people, but before he could, God brought him out of Egypt, away from those mothers, over to Midian, and into the presence of a Godly priest by the name of Jethro. It was there in the service of, and under the leadership of, and under the fathering of, the man Jethro, that Moses learned balance, and wholeness, and meekness, and was even prepared to come into the presence of God in the burning bush. It is quite possible that if there had not been a Jethro, for God to use, that Moses would not have fulfilled his destiny. Later on, when Moses was head over a few million Jews, he leaned on Jethro and his wise advice, to lead God's people. If Jethro had not been speaking into Moses' life all along, since they met, it is doubtful that he would have Moses' ear when Moses really needed him. God uses fathers and father figures to impart intangible substance to his children.
Adam
Adam had some sons. How heart breaking to find that one murdered the other, and then was sent away by God to a distant land never to return. Adam had never raised a son before. He also had no father. (Earthly) So he may have missed a vital step of nurturing Cain and Able. The one son liked approval, maybe of Adam, and definitely of God, so he followed God's instruction to the letter. Cain, on the other hand, probably did not respect his father's words and wishes, who probably taught the proper way to sacrifice. Cain, at the same time, had no respect for God. This particular son of Adam had an aversion to male authority figures, even if they were the Supreme Creator of the Universe. This sounds like a fathering problem, where a breakdown occurred in Adam's raising of his sons. The dead one had pleased God, with his sacrifice, but he may have had father issues too. Imagine Adam coming home to Eve to tell her one son was dead, and the other exiled for life, and a murderer. What a dark despairing moment. How long do you think it was before God broke the despair and announced a promise of a new son. Eve stated this son was from the Lord, when he was born, so God must have given them a promise. Imagine God, seeing Adam in his lost state, with no understanding of raising a son, because sin had hardened his heart. Adam's toil in making the ground give up a harvest no doubt took up his waking hours, and he may have neglected the first two sons, leaving Eve with all their oversight. I can just picture God taking Adam to a quiet private place to tell him something. I will replace your other sons, with a new son, but this time, I will show you how to raise a son, and to impart my Spirit to him, and how to make him a Godly man.
Adam probably was forever grateful that the Lord would give him a second chance to raise a son. Seth was that son. Listen to the results. And as for Seth, to him also a son was born, and he named him Enosh. Then men began to call on the name of the Lord. Genesis 4:26
David
David had many sons. Two stand out. Absolom and Solomon. How David must have sorrowed after the death of Absolom. This son was critical, unsubmissive, and rebellious. But David was not in top form either, as a husband, or a father. Scripture does not reveal all that David did with Absolom, but I am sure that affairs of state and general indulgent living probably took his focus off his children at a time when they really needed him. If you consider the principles we have already seen, Absolom's response to his father was one of despising and disgust. It was inward, with a facade. When his opportunity came to act out the ways of his heart, he went down in history as a poor son and a rebel for all time. Solomon on the other hand, came later, and David no doubt reflected his errors over many years, and then invested more in Solomon. He also no doubt loved Solomon's mother more than Absolom's. Solomon also exhibited issues later in his life which were still probably linked to David's failures, but Solomon also exhibited a good transference from David his father.
The Prodigal And His Brother
Let's jump to the New Testament. There were two sons in a parable. One rejected his father's words, and teachings, and decided he didn't need him anymore. He asked him for his inheritance, and left town. His rebellious attitude knew no limits, for he rebelled against God Himself with riotess living and squandering of his inheritance. The other son stayed at home, and worked night and day, with no other thought than having the recognition of his father. He would follow every rule, work hard, manage his father's estate well, and look for one kind and grateful word, from his father. But the father would not easily give it. And the reason for that was simple. The son who stayed was doing the natural thing, the thing that good sons do, and no special recognition would be given because the son had picked up responsibility and sonship principles as both sons should have. The son who stayed revealed his needy want of recognition when the other son returned. But the father answered correctly. For sonship, and your sacrifice, you had the rule of the estate all along, and you could have slaughtered a calf and made merry with your friends anytime. That is what a true son has a right to do. But this other son, who has rejected all my ways and sayings, has now seen his folly. He will no doubt return and receive his blessing, his understanding, and my teachings, as he could of before he left, and met with calamity.
In each instance, we see different sons reacting differently to the same upbringing, although they are siblings. This individual reaction has already been discussed.
Paul & Timothy
Paul had a young disciple named Timothy. Timothy was raised by a mother and grandmother, women of great faith, but possibly had no father. But that was not enough to ground Timothy in his destiny, and calling, so God paired Timothy with Paul. And Paul was a true spiritual father. He exhorted him, and reminded him of his upbringing, and was there for him, and nurtured him. Paul actually passed spiritual substance into Timothy by the laying on of hands, but he also passed manly and positive substance into Timothy by time spent, talks, approval, and love and acceptance.
If a young person is not developing as they should, or is unable to succeed at anything, they may not have the Blessing in their life. All is not lost, because a person can receive this blessing at any time of their life, no matter how old. Since this Blessing is God's anyway, and the father is simply the steward of it, God can chose to get it across in many ways. I believe that God does not do it directly, but through people. We cannot say, all I need is God. It is God's plan that we need our parents, and our families, and the Body of Christ to be healed and have emotional needs fulfilled. God restores the Blessing and the father's heart to those who seek it. God desires to impart this substance. ( The book "The Blessing" was written by Gary Smalley and Philip Trent and is available in most Christian bookstores.)
What Good Is There In Having The Understanding Of The Blessing?
A knowledge of The Blessing can be very valuable. Things we can do are:
1) Begin to impart it to the very young. Our country and culture does not naturally do this.
2) Be more understanding of teens and fatherless youth and know that under the rebellion or lack of submission, a healing needs to take place. Know that they can be healed.
3) Be open yourself to receive the Blessing as God wants to give to you and has ways to give it to you.
4) If you are in ministry, seek out more information because this tool of understanding will give you much fruit with people, of all ages. A Pastor out of Colorado has done much work and material on the Blessing, and has a book called "The Ancient Paths." His name is Pastor Craig Hill. Another man of God by the name of Bishop Vernon Owens has much work out on "fathering" and has a priceless teaching called "The Jethro Factor." Finally, a Pastor in Oregon by the name of Michael Shattuck has a strong and beautiful teaching on "Sonship." Each of these ministries have been very valuable to me in being healed myself and in helping others.
The Beat Goes On
It is sad to say that every generation's lack of understanding of The Blessing curses the next generation to certain reproduced cycles of problems. Human nature in child raising will create more problems. Sadly, this root is then passed and multiplied to many with each passing generation. God's principles in child raising will produce Godly fruit. Breaking the cycle is necessary in each family, and only Godly understanding will break the cycle.
Special Author's Note: Early feedback and comments on this writing are good. Many reported they wept. God heals as we exhibit tears of joy or sorrow. But there is a strong point I wish to make here. Many have said to me, I don't know of any hostilities or resentments for my father. This mindset might be missing the point. I believe that those who hate fathers or hold ill will towards them are in a small minority. Many simply figure out that their fathers were or are human, with mistakes. The point I am making with this writing can be issues on an unintelligible level, or at a subconscious level. No abuse or cruel beatings may have been done, but how do we always know that what should have been done or imparted by a father was done? The issues run deep. One of the biggest symptoms of not receiving the blessing from a father is the self-esteem issue. We all suffer from that at one time or another in our lives. So merely making a quick mental search of our conscious memories will not serve as a measure of whether we have a father issue or not. We would sometimes like to think that we know everything we need or possess, but what person truly knows their own hearts, save God, our Heavenly Father? Each human being is caught in a trap of subjective thinking, not knowing often what makes us tick. God many times in the Word asks us to take Him at His word. If God thought that you needed restoration to a father's heart and nurturing, as He laid out in Malachi 4, who are we to say we don't? I only ask readers to be frankly honest with themselves to say, "I may not have all the blessing God wanted my father to impart. It doesn't matter how I feel about my earthly father when considering if I received the blessing or not."
Another measure of father issues in a life besides low self-esteem is the way we respond to things that crop up in our lives. How do we take people? Do we respond patiently and lovingly, or do we jump on people, or verbally take them apart, if not to their faces, behind their backs? Do we fuss and fume endlessly or until we have satisfied our souls enough? As I see it, every person on Earth could use a little more fathering, from God directly, and, through God's human vessels. We have been separated from Him in the flesh, and we fellowship with Him through the human spirit only. We have a sin condition on Earth, and that breeds shame, and low self esteem, and inferiority. As long as people are subject to sin, they will have father issues. But a true father, like God, will encourage, and cheer on His sons and daughters, and tell them they can overcome, and conquer sin. Pastors who have true father's hearts will do the same, as will earthly fathers and father figures.
Let me state that to get all the blessing, and healing, and fathering from God that you need, you will need to approach the subject with some humility. Know that we are needy apart from God or from His Divine provisions for us. Fathering is one of those provisions.
Chapter 7 The Significance Of A Life
As I sat on the seat at the mortuary, my thoughts came back to the service. People were rising and beginning to leave. Everyone was hugging, and there were many tears. We visited a little, and made plans to attend a luncheon at Uncle Rays' home. As some of us passed the viewing room where my Uncle Tony's body was, we noticed the room was called a "Repose Room." My cousin Joni said "I wonder what repose means." Forever the wisecracker, I spoke up. "That is when a lender takes back that which has been loaned. - Repos!" There was a laugh, at the expense of the dead, and I probably shouldn't have said it, but later, I thought about what I said. How fitting that God who returned Uncle Tony to us now had taken him back to be with Him.
As I talked with Uncle Ray that afternoon, I was saying that I thought it strangely sad that just 20 showed up, and no doubt that was a result of how Uncle Tony lived his life. No descendants, no roots. The friends who attended the funeral were Uncle Ray's friends. I told my Uncle that I thought it wonderful how Uncle Tony was able to share in the significance of his brother Ray's life in the final 4 years of his life. By the look on Uncle Ray's face, I could tell he took issue with my comments. Uncle Ray paused, and thought about his next words. "I think Tony's life was very significant, and I kind of figured him out and what he was all about." I was a little embarrassed for what I said, especially on the day of my Uncle's funeral, but that quickly gave way to intrigue. What was the significance? What did Uncle Ray see? What did Uncle Tony's life achieve? I resolved that I would come back and visit and sit with Uncle Ray and find out. It's possible in the writing of this story, I answered that. What does make us significant? Is it the position in life we reach? Is it the amount of income we achieve, or is the quality of home and surroundings we acquire? Is it the number of descendants, or the wise words and good deeds we leave behind? Does our significance come to us by a bestowing of it from our loved ones, or, does it come because we place it on ourselves by our own self love?
Can it be that to find the true significance in each human being, we must first go to God our Creator and weigh the significance He places on each person? As we go to God, we find a wonderful system of not attributing any significance to ourselves, because God does that for us. He deems us worthy and significant as individuals created in His Image. This is whether we receive Him or not. As we see this dynamic action of God's love for us, We bestow significance to other people, especially those who are hurting or are down and out and suffering, out of pure obedience to God the Father. And God's view of who is significant is drastically different than the world's views. The lesser parts and the less becoming parts have more honor coming from Heaven than those we might think were worthy. As we obey God, our hearts pour out with compassion for those individuals because we become fulfilled in doing so. How many times in scripture did God command people to care for and love the widows, orphans, poor people, and strangers traveling from distant lands? And yet we see people, even some Christian people despising these groups I mentioned. How wrong we are when we say that that person is in that state because of their own doing. Of course they might be. They are, however, no less significant, and no less deserving of a touch from God. And you are that touch. You are the instrument. God counts on people. Jesus said , "I was in prison and you visited me, I was hungry and you fed me......" Today in America, we have the Welfare system in a mess with thoughts of closing it, and maybe rightly so. But Jesus said "the poor you will always have with you..." And I know Jesus intends the blessed to care for the poor, for the church to pick up the slack. Don't forget the poor in circumstance, the single moms, the fatherless kids, the ones who have been dealt a blow in life and need a touch of God through some person on Earth. Maybe a man has made a serious mistake and is behind and has a family to support, and unless he sees the goodness of God, he will not pull it out. People are all significant, and an insignificant person does not exist in God's way of thinking. My Uncle Tony did have a great significance to his life, and if you let that be the basis of your belief about it, as my Uncle Ray did, and I now do, then you will suddenly see beauty and character where you didn't think you would see it at all.
I was warmly touched when my cousin Spencer came to say goodbye to his dad, Uncle Ray, and he shook his hand and said, "thanks for being an example to us." Here was a son who watched his father go after and care for 4 years for a brother who had written off and rejected everyone else in the family. Uncle Tony did this but I am sure he realized before he died his mistake, especially after witnessing the outstretched hand of God's love through that family. Yes Uncle Ray, you did set an example for the rest of us. For the poor in spirit and the downtrodden are only that until someone picks them up, and how uncommon that occurrence is, and how beautiful it is to behold when we see it in the land of mankind, where Heaven does not always show through.
Pain, Guilt and Shame
Let's go a little deeper. Pain is not your enemy. God gave mankind pain as a servant. If there was no pain, you would stand in fire or on a nail or worse and do damage to your body. Pain is a human reality designed by God to make you aware there is something to correct. We go to a Doctor at the first signs of pain, because when disease attacks, there is a resulting pain. People would rather there be no pain, but it is part of us that makes us who we are. Pain should be dealt with as it surfaces. To be rid of pain, roots and causes must be addressed and dealt with. A person wracked with pain might never believe that pain was God's design, but I believe because we live in an evil fallen world, that pain goes much further in lives than God meant it to. I also believe that God is the one to seek and get help for physical or emotional pain. That is, in additional to good medical treatment or counseling. So why talk about pain? This is for understanding. Pain has a counter-part in Creation, for the spirit and the mind, and that is guilt. The capacity for guilt is given by God in our souls up front, when we are created, so it a natural thing to possess, that is, when something is wrong. Guilt is pre-programmed into us as a response when we are conceived, just as pain is. People try to rid themselves of guilt, but it will remain as long as there is no repentance from sin or that thing one is guilty about. But God has made a way to release us from guilt. It is done by faith in His forgiveness and in the sacrifice of Jesus for our sin. Just like pain, guilt informs us of a line crossed, a matter to be dealt with, and an issue to be resolved. Without God, mankind has no outlet or resolution for guilt, and he or she internalizes it until it brings more destruction. It also tends to keep the person returning to the behavior, if there is no release from the guilt. But guilt is basically not evil, as many think, but rather its presence in the human race keeps evil from abounding. It is not our job though to help others to feel guilty, that is built into each person in the form of a conscience. It seems some Christians think it is their job, and that is why so many people without God can never listen to the small voice of conscience. It is because they are clouded with the accusations and dealings of well meaning but misguided Christians.
Guilt has a perverted counterpart which is not from God. It is from Satan, and it is evil, and people take it inside them and it does much damage. It is shame. People bear shame, and God does not want them to. While guilt says "my behavior is wrong," shame says "I am wrong." While guilt has a resolution, which is to stop the wrong behavior, shame has no resolution, because it would mean ceasing to exist to be rid of it. Now you can see why God hates shame. Guilt = wrongness of doing. Shame = wrongness of being. Shame has no right to exist in a New Covenant believer, who has taken inside themselves the very nature of God. Where am I going with this? Many young people who have had wounds from fathers (or mothers) carry shame, and feel like an unworthy soul for happiness, or blessing, or progress in their lives. Shame terrorizes their inter-personal relationships, and causes them to keep walls around themselves. The walls that are put up to protect also keep God and His healing processes out. You can tell symptoms of shame in people. And all carry a degree of shame. We bury it, we internalize it, we forget it, but it does not leave. It simply goes underground and resurfaces in very negative traits. Isolation is one of those traits, and I believe that is what my Uncle Tony had. I am not talking about the emotion of being ashamed, which can come and go, and we are aware of it, I am talking about a much more subtle attitude that is long lasting and destructive, and it effects destiny, and success, and our very relationships. Many with shame do not know it. But I will give only some characteristics of it.
Possible Evidences Of Shame
1) Can't accept gifts or favors without calculating repayment
2) fear of imposing on people
3) poor self image
4) short tempered
5) Being a victim
6) difficulty with opposite sex
7) addictions
8) prone to failure
9) workaholic
10) fear of loss of security
11) can't make new friends
12) shyness
13) lack of self-confidence
14) having to be in control
15) Avoiding situations of rejection
16) habitual and not adventurous
17) Expecting perfection from yourself or others
18) Impoverished lifestyle
19) Anorexia/Bulimia
19) Sexual Perversion
20) Judgmental or Critical attitudes
21) No self Identity
22) Loss of Interest In Marriage Relationship
23) Extreme Pride and Self Superiority
24) Manipulative.
There are many more. DID YOU NOTICE THAT THIS LIST CAN ALMOST BE OVERLAID AS IDENTICAL TO THE EARLIER LIST WHERE THERE ARE UNRESOLVED FATHER ISSUES? THE SUBSTANCE IMPARTED BY FATHERS WHO ARE EFFECTIVE FATHERS KEEPS SHAME AWAY FROM THEIR YOUNG PEOPLE.
The items on this list are just a few of the things that might indicate shame working in a person's life. People with shame usually feel less deserving of having a good life, or prospering, or getting blessed. People with shame have trouble receiving God's love. People with shame are quick to try to bring shame on others or on their children. It is really a generationally propagated problem. IT GOES LIKE THIS AS AN ATTITUDE OR A THOUGHT PROCESS SUBCONSCIOUSLY: "My father or mother shamed me when I was young, and I will shame you as my child to manipulate you or control you." That is the way of it often times. Christians need to strike the phrase "shame on you" from their vocabularies.
Parents put shame on children unwittingly. Don't speak against who they are as a person. Don't tell children they are a thief, or they are a liar, or a little tramp, or they are evil. Tell them that you, as a parent know they are not a liar, but they have lied, and you are unhappy with that behavior. Parents hit their children in public, or they humiliate them in public in front of strangers or peers, or they castigate them for doing something out of their control like wetting the bed, or spilling their milk. Dr. James Dobson says we should punish rebellious behavior, but not childish irresponsibility. It is parents shaming or punishing this latter thing, childish irresponsibility, that breaks a child's spirit and imputes shame into their life. The child receives shame and actually grows up feeling like they are worthless.
One day, I grabbed my son David who was about 8 and yanked him all the way across a room. I was very angry. I got over my anger, and I felt bad. I then felt like I displeased God, and He showed me I violated my son's very dignity as a person. God doesn't yank me around or throw me through the air, because God respects my rights as a person to move at my own speed. How often do parents treat their children as property, or like an old handbag or piece of trash? I couldn't rest until I apologized to my son. I have never yanked a child around since, nor will I ever again. But let's look at what might be if God didn't intervene for my son. He would grow up thinking I thought he was my property to do with as I please, and this image that he would pick up as my image of him, would become his image of him, and would make him feel he was not a whole individual, but only property to be mistreated. This would be shame at work in my son.
Think of a child who is abandoned by a father or a parent. They must perceive at their young age that the father's or mother's image of them is low, because they did not want to be with them. The child then assumes that image as their own, and that is their view of themselves for life. Only God can change that image. A child who is abandoned or rejected receives shame for that, although it was not their fault. That child then goes through life feeling like they are less than normal, thereby being less than a person. That is shame. A person who has been molested, or physically abused, or verbally abused as a child can receive those acts within themselves as shame. The shame causes them to feel they are not whole. As not a whole person, that same child never allows himself or herself to have the best breaks, or the best for their life. Only God can help with this problem. And He has helped many.
Fear not, for thou shall not be ashamed: neither be thou confounded, for thou shall not be put to shame: for thou shalt forget the shame of thy youth, and shalt not remember the reproach of thy widowhood any more. Isaiah 54:4
Let me repeat the Word of God. You will forget the shame of your youth!
How Do You Get Over Shame?
The first thing to understand is that we are redeemed from shame, and Jesus bore it on the cross. Jesus was made to bear great shame. Scripture says that He despised the shame, but for the joy that was set before Him, He endured the cross. “But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities;” Isaiah 53:5a. A transgression is an individual sin, but an iniquity is a way of sin. Our ways are harder to repent of than our sins. Our ways also create our sins. We must be forgiven of sins, but we must be healed of our ways, iniquitous ways. Too many want to stop sinning, but they never let God heal them of their ways which keep producing more sins. Shame is an iniquitous way. It may sound unfair to call shame sinful, especially if someone else helped you possess it, from childhood. But God has called other innocent sounding things sin, like fear, worry, doubt, or unbelief. So if shame is sin, it is something we can repent of, and expect God’s help to remove it. Jesus was bruised for our ways, or iniquities. I looked up the word stripes of Isaiah 53. Remember, “by His stripes we are healed…” In the Hebrew language, one meaning of the word stripes is black and blue, or bruises. God intends to heal us of iniquities with His Words about stripes, or bruises. He was bruised for our iniquities. If a bruise is also a stripe in God's mind, then, by His stripes (bruises) our sickness and iniquities (way) are healed. Our ways of sin like shame can be healed by faith in the cross of Christ, and in the healing work of Jesus. Shame as a problem has God’s Redemption as a solution. The Holy Spirit wants to lovingly “nail” the ways (iniquities) of sin in us and nail them to the cross. We have exceedingly great promises from God about deliverance from sin and sinful ways. We must repent of shame, as a start of being healed from it. Shame can even cause physical illness, which the stripes of Jesus are also provision for. Next, we need to believe for God’s opposite of shame from His Kingdom.
Shame’s Opposite: The Glory Of Sonship
You do not get over shame all at once. It can be a process over years, but today is the day to get started. The first step is to have read what you just read. The revealing of the revelation and truth is a step. Shame is one of those things that will never reveal itself in a life without the Word of God or the Revelation of God, or the anointed teaching of the Holy Spirit. The opposite of shame is to be a son or daughter of God. Begin to think about that. God does not see you not whole. He sees you whole, your potential and your growth. He knows you can make it. In a close relationship with God, through prayer and word study, He imprints His image of you on your heart and soul. You are changed as if looking in a mirror, and you see the Word of God in the mirror, and God's glory reflection is cast on you.
Sonship
You say you are a son?* I am glad. But remember, there is a difference between a son of God and a child of God. A child has not reached maturity, and a son has. Jesus was a son when He came on the scene. There was a responsibility factor there in His thinking. There was a hatred of evil, and a heart for human suffering. The Apostle Paul, after many years of study, and training, (14 years passed after his conversion before he was in rigorous ministry) became a son.
Many believers are looking for a greater experience in God, and don't really realize that the experience they seek is mature sonship to Father God, and sonship in God's Kingdom. You don't hear many teachings about sonship, for I believe many Christians would choke on such teaching, but for those who can hear it, God needs sons (male and female) in the Kingdom. Sons walk above judgment and critical hearts, and son's take responsibility. Sons pour out their souls unto the lost and needy, and sons take up prayer, and tuck themselves into God, knowing Him, and being known by Him, and actually becoming trusted by God with deeper information and higher responsibility. Sonship also becomes a great answer and healing cure to shame, in one's own life.
Behold what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God: therefore the world knoweth us not, because it knew Him not. 1 John 3:1
* The word son or sons used here in this section encompasses both male and female.
Glory
As we walk into sonship, God reveals the Glory to us. The Glory is His very essence and substance. The opposite of shame is God’s Glory or "the Image of God Himself" or “the Image of Christ in you.” He said: "Let us make man in our image." I assure you there was no shame in that first man. It was not until man sinned. Shame is the idea of Satan, and it is evil. Evil can be defined as anything that destroys human potential. The Glory of God is the answer for shame. God gives you His Glory for your needy human spirit, and then, He is the answer for your shame.
Thou art filled with shame for glory.... (Instead of glory) Habakkuk 2:16a.
O ye sons of men, how long will ye turn my glory into shame? Psalms 4:2a
Sons of men turn Glory to shame. But sons of God turn shame to Glory!
Go to God and ask Him to heal you of shame. But be ready for whatever might happen. The process can be painful. But you need to come through it, because on the other side of it is the person you always wanted to be. I want to give you points that will help you begin the process to get over shame. They will not do it alone. This is a work of the Holy Spirit. He will do it. This book is only a launching of sorts. The process depends on you, and your tenacity to get right in your own eyes. As you look into the perfect law of liberty, God's Word, over time, it functions like a mirror, casting the image of God upon you, and your self perception turns into God perception. Shame leaves, and actually flees, for the Glory and shame cannot co-exist at the same time. The Glory of God by the power of the Spirit begins to mold you into a son of God, in the image of Jesus. Begin to use the Bible like a tool, to remake your mental image, of God, and you.
Neither will I cause men to hear in thee the shame of the heathen anymore, neither shalt thou bear the reproach of the people anymore, neither shalt thou cause thy nations (children & descendants) to fall anymore, saith the Lord. Ezekiel 36:15
God actually states in this scripture that you can be healed of shame, caused by sin in yourself or others, and it will also be removed from your children, because you are being healed, and you have influence over them. When your healing begins, your children’s healings begin. This thing is quite generational, and powerful in its reach.
Read these carefully and prayerfully:
1) God loves you more than you love yourself. Your personal value exceeds everything in God's eyes. He gave Jesus, and in doing so, put a price on your value as a child of His. That price, which is equal to the life of the Son Of God, is without Earthly limits or understanding. God knows the number of hairs on your head, He knows your every vice and your every desire. And He accepts you as you are, without conditions or negotiation of any kind. He would have come down from Heaven and endured the cross if you had been the only sinner on Earth.
2) God knows everything you have been through, and He cares, and He wants to release you from the effects of it.
3) Jesus is the target to aim for when you envision who you are to be like. That sweet human life He lived and achieved is yours for the asking and the believing. Read the gospels in the Bible until those resound in your subconscious. Read Matthew to John, and then read them over again. It is the way to build Jesus into your innermost being.
4) You are a whole person when you have come to God for Salvation. That could have been years ago. When you know it in your heart, and soul, beyond all doubting, it will be so.
5) If you have read this far, you have a desire and interest to be whole and to be all God has in mind for you to be.
6) In my life, when I found these things out, I was able to think about them enough and pray about them enough, and to become introspective enough to really get even more understanding, and to get free in many areas. Knowledge is really powerful in God's Kingdom. Just remember, when you think you know something, you do not know it as you ought to or as God knows it. Always remain teachable and open to more information, revelation, and correction. If any man think that he knoweth anything, he knoweth nothing yet as he ought to know it. 1 Corinthians 8:2
7) All things are possible to he or she who believes. Believe you will grow and change and be helped by God. Faith is important when you are being healed of shame.
8) It is imperative that you forgive any who have wronged you, especially parents. It does not matter if you feel they deserve it or not. Your lack of forgiveness binds the unresolved emotional issues to you. Forgiveness brings the atmosphere and condition in your being to receive help, and to be healed.
Do you sense that some questions have been answered here? Do you sense healing flowing? The Heavenly Father granted this writing, and the understanding here. It is straight from the Father's heart to His sons and daughters. He is your Father. This is only the beginning.
Some may feel preached at or that I took license to state my own belief system. But I believe this writing is the significance given to the tragic loss and beautiful return of my Uncle Tony. And I believe God has made him a symbol of the pain and heartache, and of the great needs in many who have suffered from father issues. I also believe Uncle Tony is a symbol of the healing and restoration available to many with father issues. I also believe if my own father has any awareness of this writing from Heaven, then it must please him that many can learn from his and my mistakes. Thus I can honor his memory and the Heavenly Father with this writing.
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As I drove home that afternoon, I had time to think about the funeral, the events that occurred, and the family and Uncles I have so grown to love. As a car pulled along side of mine, I saw an old man, like Uncle Tony, sitting in the passenger side, and a younger man of about 60 years old sitting in the driver's seat. I thought about my two Uncles, and I thought about fathers and sons, and fathers and daughters, and I wondered what those two men were to each other. Did they know the love that God has for them, and the love, honor and respect that God wants them to show each other? Did they know that the veil of death might soon separate them, and then things unsaid would stay unsaid? I thought of my own father. If my years of loving him were short, or the years of honoring him were too short, was there something I could do still to carry this out? Here I am, a man in my earthly father's image, a man virtually representing him in every way, with every action I take or with every word I speak. Here I am living on after he is passed. And he gave so much to be sure I would continue as his son. Everything I do that is good and noble is a memorial to his life, and everything I do that is wrong or evil by choice is a dishonor to his name. Then, of course, there is something I can do for my dad, now, after he is gone. My Uncle Ray stood in his own father's shoes, who was long dead, for Uncle Anton's sake.
But as I sat here and pondered these things in my car, I realized a big significant fact. All I just said about my earthly father is true also for my Heavenly Father. How he must enjoy my representation of him when I do so from the heart, and do deeds and say things that honor who He is. When I chose to love and nurture someone, like Uncle Tony, what a smile I must be creating on Father God's face, and what a Heavenly connection I must be causing between Heaven and Earth where I dwell.
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As we saw some things in the Uncle Anton story, we saw that he had father issues. God was able to help him even in his 80's, to get a handle on and some understanding on those issues. Through his younger brother, he was able to see the image of his father and realize his father wasn't the boogie man of his inaccurate memories, and he was able to have some compassion for his dad's point of view. How might Uncle Anton's life had been different if he had been able to gain some understanding at 30 or 40 years old? This writing is about you, and your father. The Bible says that we are to get Godly understanding to grow and have a fruitful life.
Conclusion
I believe that father issues, shame, and emotional baggage cause divorce, relationship failures, sickness, disease, and early death. People are designed to function at an optimum physical level, with their mental attitudes and clear sighted emotional states being a leader in their physical well being. Many elderly people often lose a spouse, at an old age, and their view of life begins to dim, and sometimes a depression sets in. In this weakened mental state, they often go down hill physically at a much faster rate. This can show how our mental state can effect our physical one. To be physically healthy, we must stay mentally sharp, and enthusiastic, and have a gusto for life. We must also get control of bondages and addictions. This process is often inhibited by emotional baggage, brought on by father issues. If we get free and clear from issues, we can have renewed health and vigor vital to our very lives. So this writing is about emotional health and physical health. Solving father issues will take us far.
Our health is a good reason to get the help, but how about our destinies? If becoming free from issues about a father causes us to pursue our destinies with more power, then what are we waiting for? Let's get with God and get what He has for us, and be really free.
Finally, if getting healed of father issues breaks a cycle of evil and shame, then your next generation will be the ones to profit. Can there be any stronger motivation anywhere or about anything than getting our children and their children in on the infinite blessings of God?
This information can help many to identify a root of a problem, and then set people on a course of healing. I used to believe that over 50% of society suffered from father issues. But I now think it is over 75%. This is my opinion, but if I am correct, then 25% or less of all fathers effectively father and nurture their children properly. This also means that the next generation will do the same, but with multiplied results. I also believe that over 90% of all society suffers from a degree of shame in their consciousness or their subconscious, and it seriously effects their lives, and that of their offspring. But what is shame except a condition brought on by sin, either one's own, or that of our ancestors, or the sins of all mankind? I have explored in detail these two enemies of people, father issues, and shame. If we can open up a wider degree of understanding on these, we can help many. This is an opportunity to deal a mighty blow to Satan's kingdom, and break up a several thousand year old plan to enslave children for all of their lives, through adulthood, and old age. This is the work and ministry of Jesus, who was manifested to destroy the works of the devil. For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that He might destroy the works of the devil. 1 John 3:8b Imagine if this book of information was put in the hands of prison inmates, where they could explore some of their family and early father issues, and come out of prison with understanding and inner healing. They would be walking ministry centers, with grace and love and nurturing for many others. Let our worst wounds become our mightiest strengths. Let our worst problems become the biggest solutions. Let God have His way, in your life.
In the following appendix, there are prayers to use, and some scripture references, if you wish, to walk into a place of deeper healing. Read them and offer them to God from your heart. I heard a man of God say that being healed of shame or deep issues is like peeling an onion. A layer of skin comes off, a little at a time. Let God unravel it. Be patient that it will take some time. Trust Him!
Appendix
Salvation - Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, Verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the Kingdom of God. John 3:3
That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God has raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. Romans 10:9
A PRAYER IF YOU WANT TO RECEIVE JESUS: (This is truly the first step to real healing)
Jesus, I am sorry for a life of sin. Forgive me, and come into my heart now. I renounce Satan, and his kingdom, and I believe Jesus that you died for me, and rose again, to give me eternal life. I believe you are in me, and I am saved. Thank you Lord. Amen.
Returning To God? - Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the Lord, and He will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for He will abundantly pardon. Isaiah 55:7
A PRAYER IF YOU HAVE RECEIVED JESUS, AT AN EARLIER TIME, BUT SLID BACK INTO SIN, AND THREW AWAY YOUR FELLOWSHIP WITH HIM: Lord, I want to come back to you, and be with you. Forgive me for walking away. Wash me from sin, and renew my heart now. I believe I am cleansed now, and I am your child. In Jesus Name, Amen.
The Healing of The Fatherless - Surely He has borne our grief, and carried our sorrows... Isaiah 53:4A.
And He shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse. Malachi 4:6
A PRAYER IF YOU NEED HEALING OVER A FATHER ISSUE: Lord, God, and Father, I am needy and hurting. My life is now in your hands, I put it there. Heal my heart. You are my Heavenly Father, and Jesus is my brother. I release my own earthly father from any failures concerning me, and I forgive him. Lord, show me what I need to know and see about me, you, and fathering. I ask for the blood of Jesus to wash away any iniquitous ways I have developed and held onto that this hurt in my life caused. Heal the wounds in me I pray, in Jesus name.
Healed of Shame - For your shame ye shall have double; and for confusion they shall rejoice in their portion, therefore in their land they shall possess the double, everlasting joy shall be unto them. Isaiah 61:7
I have stuck unto thy testimonies; O Lord, put me not to shame. I will run the way of thy commandments, when thou shalt enlarge my heart. Psalm 119:31-32
A PRAYER TO BE HEALED OF SHAME: Lord, I renounce shame in my life, and I ask you for a new image inside of you and your glory. Fill me now with a vision of how I can be, with your help. I am OK. I am acceptable in your sight Lord, so I accept myself in my own sight. I am a son/daughter of God, and I am an overcomer. My worth is great, and I open myself up to new possibilities in you Lord. In Jesus name, Amen.
Sonship a thing to be desired - For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God. For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear, but ye have received the Spirit of Adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father. Romans 8:15-16
For it became Him, for whom are all things, and by whom are all things, in bringing many sons unto glory, to make the captain of their salvation perfect through suffering. Hebrews 2:10
A PRAYER TO WALK INTO SONSHIP WITH GOD THE FATHER: Lord, I have been a child, but now I want to be a son as Jesus was. Help me to mature Lord, and help me to love. I release vain words, gossip, and judgments, and I purpose to bless all men. I accept my place in the kingdom as your son Lord, as a son to Father God, who is in Heaven. Lord, teach me about sonship. Teach me maturity. Teach me about miracles. In Jesus name, Amen.
Families and loved ones reconciled - And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to Himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation; to wit that God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto Himself, not imputing their tresspasses unto them, and hath committed unto us the word of reconciliation. 2 Corinthians 5:18-19
A PRAYER FOR A FAMILY RECONCILIATION: Lord, I realize I am in a situation that needs reconciliation. Show me Lord, how, and show me the Spirit of Reconciliation. I purpose to love, forgive, make peace, and release God into this situation. Lord, soften my heart, and the heart of each side, and pour your Spirit out on all of us, in Jesus name, Amen.
God helps the fatherless - ...for in thee, the fatherless findeth mercy. Hosea 14:3b
Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, to visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world. James 1:27
A PRAYER FOR THE FATHERLESS OR THE WOUNDED IN OUR LAND: Lord, there are so many children, teenagers, young men and women, and adults who need fathers, and they need your touch through a father. Heal them, inside, and out, and fill them with your fatherly mercies, and expand this revelation of the restoration of fathers to children, and children to fathers. In Jesus name, Amen.
Healed in our bodies - Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth. 3 John 2
And ye shall serve the Lord your God, and He shall bless thy bread, and thy water, and I will take sickness away from the midst of thee. There shall nothing cast their young, nor be barren in thy land, the number of thy days I will fulfill. Exodus 23:25-26
A PRAYER FOR PHYSICAL HEALING, AS YOU HEAL EMOTIONALLY: Lord, touch my body, energize each cell, and let your anointing flow out from my heart to heal my whole being. I am prospering and I am in health, because my soul is beginning to prosper. Lord, I rebuke illness out of my life, and I thank you that you take sickness out of the midst of me. In Jesus name, Amen.
Thanks in all things - But we are bound to give thanks always to God for you, brethren beloved in the Lord, because God hath from the beginning chosen you to salvation through sanctification of the Spirit and belief of the truth. 2 Thessalonians 2:13
Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Ephesians 5:20
A PRAYER OF THANKS FOR THE LIFE OF ANTON CHRISTIAN ERICKSON: Lord, thank you for Anton, and the book that bears his name. He lived and died, and now let his life speak for you. Heal many, and use this man's story to do so in Jesus' name. Amen.
You may write us at the following address:
Greg Nichols, P.O. Box 434, CA 95678 * wfmininistries.info@gmail.com